Here Comes the SUTA

Here comes the SUTA (doo doo doo doo)

Here comes the SUTA

and I say

it's alright...

Oh hell no it aint. Whatchoo smokin' boys? At least it's better than Good day SUTAshine.... I'd have to put a hurt on someone for that.

This week's "theme" was The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Hundreds and hundreds of artists to choose from. Really something for EVERYONE in that list so there was no real excuse to have an off week or not be memorable, right? Right?

I gather that the PTB (Powers That Be) felt Mr.Jimmy wasn't doing an adequate enough job with the kiddos because this week we had Will.I.Am sitting in as well. Srsly. You mean with all those inductees you couldn't find ONE that would represent the theme? Really? I guess we'll have a hip hop theme in a coming week with Bjork sitting in, am I right?

So help me... if that happens I'm so going to quit.

On the plus side, the show was only 90 minutes. Yay.

We had 3 on the States Lost Map this week.

Hey Chicago! You notice we stayed sober tonight? That sucked. I guess they forgot that they still have a couple kids on the show. Tell ya what. If the group song is Ring of Fire (and you know why I picked that one..) on the results show, I'll take a double shot... one for each of us. I also propose a new game for that other problem you mentioned. I expect that one or both of us will be under the desk by the time that one gets halfway through a song!

Jacob (Man in the Mirror by Michael Jackson): The only one I like less than this one is Haley and as of this week, if I HAD to vote for one of the two I'd be voting her through. Ok, I'll give him credit for dialing it back a little bit and it really was a nice song choice for him. However, if anyone was truly listening to his introduction package, they got a real earful. Go ahead and listen to it again and read between the lines. Basically, if he hits the B3 he feels it's not because of how he performed the song it will be because we can't face ourselves. Um. Excuse me? Darlin? I may not like what's there, but I can look in the mirror just fine. I also know how to take blame for when things go wrong and I know it's my fault (unlike some gov't officials we know). Can you say the same for yourself? If you go this week, you're right, it won't be for the performance because it was ok. It'll be because you took it upon yourself to preach to us, and we don't like that. That and you went first on a 90 minute show. We won't go into the fact that your performance didn't even measure up to this young man and since every show is supposed to be better than the last, you should have been able to at least accomplish that. I guess the judges didn't really catch it, or maybe they thought nothing of it, because surely someone should have called him on that blossoming ego he has going. His odds held for a 5th week running at +1200. I'm beginning to think he's already peaked and if anyone else caught that (and I know at least one other writer did and she has a MUCH larger circulation than I do... actually, I'm seeing another one who caught it too) ... well not many will have voted for him. Even with our collective colons getting the crispy critter treatment, Jacob got a big HUGE goose-egg in the Maps. I guess more than 3 or 4 of us caught that veiled snide remark he made. That's the thing about the internet, dude, once it gets out there... it never truly goes away. Although there are a couple others that I'd much rather see go home first, I would be quite satisfied to see him in the B3 just to teach the lil monster to get his ego in check. On the Chart he got a 4-9/B3/8th rating. I hope you thought to pack.

Haley (Piece of My Heart by Janis Joplin): I hated this. Alot. I don't care what the judges think. The only thing I can think of when I listen to her is... if I wanted to hear a growling , snarling, mangy, rabid dog... I'd go visit the neighbor 3 doors down. The only one I'm really not liking more than you is the show opener. Her odds leapt up to a +3300 this last week. The Chart rating has her at a 3-9/B3/5th ranking. With a 2 state win and one loss, she's at a 1 on the Maps this week and in danger.

Casey (Have You Ever Seen the Rain by CCR): He made a good choice to change the song selection. This definitely worked in his favor. Could you imagine a Sting song done as a rhumba? Yeah, me neither. He kept his growl fairly well restrained, which I suspect is a very hard thing for him to do because it always looks like he's going to bust loose on us. I wonder if he can teach Haley to do it. She might be bearable if she did. His odds slipped to a +1200. Not the direction we want to be seeing those odds going in, to be honest. I'm wondering if he, too, peaked too early and we're watching that long and painful spiral the early favorites tend to do before they crash and burn. He only rated a 1 on the Maps and the Chart listed him with a 3-9/B3/4th placing. I hate to say it, but even with a nice performance, there is a chance we may see him in the bottom again which you know has GOT to be frustrating. To go from a favorite to having to be saved to scraping the bottom more often than not.

Lauren (Natural Woman by Aretha Franklin): Oh Lauren, Lauren, Lauren. What are we going to do with you? This was a nice performance, but only that, just nice. We are in season 10 of this show and every year they tout the current year's cast is "The Best Group Evar!!!" It should stand to reason that should be better than at least the FIRST winner, yes? I mean, it's been a decade, for goodness sakes. No? Ok, how about at least better than the AUDITION performance of a runner-up? Hm. Has she peaked too early? Surely she's got more in there, right? Her odds are saying not as she's held at +500 for 5 weeks running, same as the egotistical lout who sang first this week. She had a 3 state win with a 1 state loss giving her a 2 on the Maps and a 4-9/B3/6th on the Charts. Is America already saying, "Lauren who?"

James (While My Guitar Gently Weeps by George Harrison): Dammit. I did say that I really wanted to not like this one, correct? I have said that this is not what I'm really looking for in a winner this season, yes? I'm sure I have. Yet another week in a row and I really liked his performance. Damn. There goes another $1.29 out my account. James got alot of praise without the gushing. Ok, who ordered the SUTA-block? Of all that performed up to this point, HE was the one most worthy of the gushing. His odds have been steadily climbing since day one and I fully expect that in the next 2 weeks or maybe a bit over, he'll end up in the negative (great for him, not so good for bettors). This week he's at a +375. His rating on the Chart is a 1-3/GREEN/2 and he had a 5 state win on the Maps. No way in hell he's going home this week. I will not be surprised if he goes to at least the Top 4.

Scotty (That's Alright Mama by Elvis): I'd never heard of this one until this week, then again I'm not really much into Elvis's music. However, it didn't much matter. This was such a fun performance to watch. Ok ok ok. I, umm, watchitseveraltimesover hit repeat repeatedly and squealed like a fangirly watched it a couple more time than necessary and laughed every single time (the facial expressions, the movement, it was all just so funny). He so does not need this show, truly. I do have to ask, when exactly did Idol change their views on the fans rushing the stage like that? Yeah, Chicago, I'm pretty sure that was scripted in. Although I'm not certain the judges were in on it. It's either that or Idol has lightened up their views on it since the first season. Why? Go back to one of those other links I posted for Lauren. You can clearly hear someone in charge hollering for security when the ONE fan hit the stage. They certainly should have this time when SIX rushed up there. His odds held at a +240 for the 3rd week in a row and he ranked on the Chart with a 1-2/GREEN/1 with a 12 state win on the Maps. No way in hell is he going home this week. Middle of the pack and to pull those numbers?? I can't wait to see what numbers he draws when he gets the pimp spot.

Hey, when's Lauren singing? What? She has already? Really? Are you sure?

Pia (River Deep Mountain High by Tina Turner): Ok. Yes. She can sing. We all know she can. She has an undeniably wonderful voice. BUT. There is no connection there to the fans. It's all well and good to come down on the lower end of the stage between the judges and the audience, but that's not connecting with them. This was much like strapping a boom-box to a super model's back and telling her to strut it down the catwalk. There's not much connection there either. Better yet, save the money, strap the radio to a mannequin's back and wheel it around for a bit. At least it would be a bit warmer to those who are watching. There's no sense making that trip if you're not going to really interact with the fans on your way through. Until you can take that brick wall down and make that connection, you're not going to be anything more than a glorified back-up singer with a great voice. She had a 4 state win on the Maps with a 2-5/GREEN/3 rating on the Chart. Her odds are creeping up ever so slowly and she's at a +320 this week. She's going to be giving Scotty a run for his money in short order, but if she's not careful James will surpass her. Yet another that there is no way in hell this one's going home.

Stefano (When A Man Loves a Woman by Percy Sledge): Ok. I tolerate him a bit better than our first two performers this week, but just barely. What can I say, I don't like SUTAtastic Archy Gaspy Lipuletta 2.0 at all. I'd love to show you an example of what I'm talking about, however it looks like the person who owned the video has shut her Youtube account down. A real shame. Seriously, dude. Enough already. His odds fell this week to a +3000. The Maps were generous with a 3 state win but the Chart put him at 4-9/B3/7th. I'm kind of on the fence about him this week. Thankfully he doesn't stay memorable long.

Paul (Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash): Ok. Now this is the kind of music he needs to be doing. This was the most enjoyable performance from him I've ever seen. The only notes I took on this one is a one word reaction that I can't print in here. Well, I could if I made it private. *chuckles* His odds PLUMMETED from last week's poor showing. The Chart has him at 4-9/B3/LAST and the Maps gave him less than love. He is the only one who lost a state and didn't have any on the winner Map to balance it out. With a -1, I will not be surprised if he's shipped off this week. You never know, though. Maybe, just maybe , VFTW and the pimp spot will do their magic. However, I do have to point out that many times over the seasons, people that had bloody awful weeks one week and a great week the next.... went home on the great week. Just sayin'.

So who goes home?

Best bet is

Paul: Even with the pimp position and being the poster child at VFTW, he pulled in some really abysmal figures this week.

tied with him

Haley: Her odds are as low as his (although she's on her way up and not crashing, like Paul), she sang second and sounds like a pack of wolves at a moose meat feast.

Other people who deserve the Walk of Shame:

Jacob: A first singing position and that snide comment certainly didn't help. I wonder if the judges DID catch it and SUTAed him just to try and save the last AAD in the competition. You just know people will scream FIXED if he goes, but he's really outlasted his welcome.

Casey: A third sing position might be better than first or second, but on a 90 minute show and you're struggling to keep going? His stock's falling.

Lauren: Wait a minute, did she sing? With odds stagnating and performances being just so-so, it's really time to step it up and do something AMAZING. Otherwise the next time her fans will see her is during the press circuit and then the tour.

Also to watch:

Stefano: This is no time to be vanilla, dude, and stop all that lip smacking. You might want to work on stage presence too. I've seen better cheese in a can of Cheez-Whiz.

Pia: I don't really believe this is her week, however, we cannot deny that lack of connection. She, too, needs to work on stage presence to become a real contender.

Basically, if you're not James or Scotty, you might want to be packed and ready.