Styx Picks: Idol needs to come with warning signs

Edits on 4/14/11 @ 3:34pm.

This week's gonna be a short one because I have a long day tomorrow and need to be in bed like 90 minutes ago (ok, more like 2 hours). I won't be posting the Maps or Chart tonight as the final figures don't get tallied until 3am or so (we have to wait on Alaska and Hawaii) and I simply cannot stay up that long today. If I arrive home early enough on Thursday, I'll post them then. So far Scotty has a huge lead over the pack with Lauren just a little behind. All but Scotty and James have lost at least 1 state, with Jacob down by 3 and Stefano down by 2. This more than likely will change by tomorrow. Neither Map changed much from my sleep shift until just a few moments ago, but one opinion has changed.

The odds on the gender of the winner are: female at +250 , male -350.

This week we had songs from the Silver Screen. The judges blew so much SUTA tonight that it was pathetic.

We had Will.I.Am again this week and ya know, he gave much better advice over all than Jimmy. I say we vote Jimmy off and let Will take his place for the rest of the season. The kids don't need the advice from a hack that thinks something sounds good. They need it from an actual artist that KNOWS what works and what won't.

Paul (Old Fashioned Rock N Roll by Bob Seger): He has a first spot sing position and he's the poster child of that damned site. Even with the awfulness of the performance, we began the night with a dose of SUTA worthy enough to give our colons a minor sunburn. We may still be able to sit, but it's not overly comfortable. Paul's odds are UP to +2500 this week. First singing spot and a lamentable performance have him in danger this week. He listed as a 3-8/ B3/ 7th and had a 1 win/1 loss for a zero on the Maps.

Lauren (The Climb by Miley Cyrus): Not great, but not bad. A fairly decent, yet predictable, attempt. I am worried about her singing position. We got some more SUTA with her. Enough to easily take the sunburn up to a second degree. I'm afraid at this point she's splitting votes with Scotty and is going to lose out. Lauren's odds are UP to +330. She really needs to step up and show how great she can be. I feel that she's slipping backwards and this is NOT the time to start doing that. She listed at a 2-8/B3/ 3rd with a 5 state total (6 win/ 1 loss).

~~Joey Tribbiani~~ Stefano (End of the Road by Boyz II Men): Ok. What was that rule again? Don't sing about going home or the end of anything. Why? It sends a subliminal message. *Gasp gasp* *lick* *Gasp* *BIG NOTE held* *lip lick* *GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASp* Ok. I think I covered the whole song. The SUTA went up to just beyond 3rd degree levels and now I can't sit. Looks like it's going to be a long night. Stefano's stock dropped by 1000 to a +4000. If I didn't despise a couple of the others so much more, I'd be screaming to send this one home. Considering the way the Maps look right this moment, I may just get my wish. He listed at a 3-8/B3/5th with a zero total on the Maps (2 wins/ 2 losses).

Scotty (Cross My Heart by George Strait): Squwee! Ok. So. I have a soft spot for him. Will he win? More than likely not. Why? Because I really like him and my choices have only won ONCE in the last 7 years that I've watched so I'm not due for a win any too soon. The minute they said he was singing a song from Pure Country, I so knew this was going to be the one he picked. Unfortunately, this just goes to show how predictable he's gotten. With the figures I'm seeing so far, he aint going anywhere this week either. Just a word of advice? Lose that one hand gesture. There's a reason JLo said she thought you had some more flavor in there and asked if you watched rap videos the other week. That hand gesture is why she asked it, I'm sure. A couple more notes incase you decide to sing from George Strait's library again. Number one, lose the back-up singers because they aren't doing you any favors in most of the songs you're choosing. Number two, George Strait's got more drawl so lay it on a little thicker, please. Scotty is UP to +125 this week. Even though he sang mid-pack, he manage to hit the Chart with a solid 1/GREEN with a 13 state win on the Maps.

Casey (Nature Boy by Nat King Cole): I wasn't familiar with this song, but I kinda dug what he did up there on stage. That said, I have to wonder if the general voting public is even going to KNOW that song or artist. Is it going to translate well enough to keep him out of trouble? I'm with JLo, "I hope America gets that". The numbers aren't looking so good right now for him. Casey broke even from last week and still holds at a +1200. He listed at a 3-8/B3/ DEAD LAST with a 1 state total (2 wins/1 loss). Things don't look so good for him right now. I think my opinion last night was accurate, it didn't translate to the masses. Then again, most true artists don't.

Haley (Call Me by Blondie): I didn't like this at all. It start rough and in my opinion, you need to be spot on in the beginning and at the end. You want a good first impression and a nice lasting one. She failed to do this for me. Then again, I don't like Haley much either. Thankfully, the judges didn't much like her either. They didn't pan her, but at least my colon got a little break.

Haley is UP from last week to a +1500. She listed with a 3-8/ B3 / 6th rating and has a total of 4 on the Maps (5 wins and 1 loss). I'm not going to count her out of the B3 simply because Pia was in precisely the same boat last week with a decent amount of states won, but still got sent home.

Jacob (Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon and Garfunkel): Thank GOD they called him out on that crap he pulled last week. Can we send him home NOW? Puh-LEEEEZ?? That high power note was just plain painful to listen to. It was so bad, even Haley was howling. The SUTA received was such to the point that Chicagolady raced to put some reflective shorts on so her nether regions were protected. Unfortunately Omar doesn't make them in my size, and I certainly can't trust the guys responsible for the creation of the Hindenberg. As such, I had to take the full blast and now my colon is torched beyond recognition. I'm so very glad I was able to protect my good buddy, though. It was all worth it. Jacob's stock plummeted 400 points from last week thanks to that utterance and he's now at a +1600. By the looks of the Maps right now, it looks like that crap he spewed last week carried over to this week. Please, if we can get rid of him this week... I promise I'll give the rabid dog a break next week and won't harp on her performance no matter HOW bad she does. Deal? He rated a 2-4/ GREEN/ 2nd (excuse me while I have a WTF moment), yet he only got a -2 on the Maps (1 win/ 3 losses). Again, look back at Pia. With any luck last week's steaming hot turd came back to haunt him for this week. I should, considering Jimmy reminded us all about it in this week's package. Actually, Jimmy chastised Jacob regarding it, it's the producers that chose to remind us. See at least SOMEONE'S doing their job there!

James (Heavy Metal by Sammy Hager): Heavy metal. On Idol. Freakin A!!! Best yet? He told Jimmy where to stick opinion when it was suggested he not do this song. Buddy, your stock just went way the hell up in my book. Do I think this will translate to the mainstream, common Idol audience, not necessarily. However, it was a HELL of alot more memorable (and not just because he was in the pimp spot) than Casey's showing. We got a huge blast of SUTA with James, too, but by now I'm so flippin numb and overly crisped back there that I didn't even notice the extra scorching. I don't expect him to go home this week. Then again, Pia had 4 states last week and rated high on the Chart, yet still got sent packing. James is UP slightly to a +350. He listed at a 2-8/ B3/ 4th and had a 6 state win.

At this point, I'm all for just cutting to the finale with James and Scotty. Metal against Country.

In the margin of my notes I have written Paul, Jacob and Stefano. It's high time that the B3 was inhabited by nothing but sausages. Actually, if you're anyone other than James or Scotty, your pooch is probably screwed this week.

Paul: Sang first and was the usual wreck. (goose egg!)

Lauren: Isn't memorable after Scotty and James.

Stefano: Not to say he wasn't memorable, but I totally didn't add this line until after I proofed the entire entry TWICE. The only reason I noticed is because I was only counting up 7 names and couldn't for the life of me remember who I forgot. Thank goodness I'm geek enough to take notes. (another goose egg)

Casey: Again, not as memorable. (only 1 state, pretty low for this stage of the game. Definitely NOT time to pull a performance like this one..)

Haley: I'm going to plead a 5th because that's the only way I'll find her enjoyable. No, wait, I make a mean drunk. Maybe it's a good thing I generally watch this sober. (even 4 states didn't save Pia!)

Jacob: There's no amount of alcohol at this point for this one. (-3!!!pleasepleasepleaseplease??!!)

Like I said. If you're not Scotty or James, you may as well pack now.

Actually, James may wanna pack too, just to be sure. The Chart numbers are kinda iffy and I really cannot be sure that 6 states is a guaranteed safe at this point. Normally, I would say for certain but last week was plain weird numbers-wise. He did have the benefit of the pimp spot this week, but even that's not a guarantee this season. Basically, if you aint a guy, aint tall, don't sing country and don't resemble a really cute Alfred E. Newman, then you may be screwed this week.

Chicagolady's choices for B3: Paul, Stefano and Jacob

She was right last week. I'd like to see if she can make it 2 weeks in a row.

*suddenly has a desire to listen to Marching to Mars before heading to bed*

Chart and Maps added 4/14/11 @ 3:34pm